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News & Insights |
Understanding Identity Buttons Have you ever seen your negotiation counterpart fly off the handle for no apparent reason? Do you ever find yourself getting upset or defensive during a negotiation? Knowing both your and your negotiation counterpart’s identity buttons will help you stay on track and move a negotiation forward. Focus on Contribution Instead of Blame The project came in over budget. A deadline was missed. A critical piece of information was not incorporated into a client presentation. Things go wrong all the time. Naturally it’s important to talk about what went wrong so people can fix the mistake and make sure it’s not repeated. The problem is that talking about what went wrong tends to cause defensiveness. A better approach is to focus on how each person’s contribution led to the predicament. Separate Substantive Issues from Relational Issues A valued client or close friend turns to you and says, “If you truly value our relationship, you will do the following for me…” Essentially, they have commingled different aspects of your negotiation. To be effective, it’s your job to separate the two. Separate Impact from Intent You’re in the midst of a negotiation and your counterpart says or does something that really ruffles your feathers. Or, your colleague, significant other, client, friend, or anyone else in your life says or does something that is so irritating that you’re ready to explode. We’ve all been there – that’s for sure. Separating “impact” from “intent” is a good formula for dealing with it. Telling Them What You Really Want will Get Them to do the Same Many of us have been conditioned to think that withholding information in a negotiation is the best way to accomplish our objectives. The truth is that, quite often, the best tack for meeting one’s goals is to disclose more, rather than less. When to Walk Away…and How to Do It Although a lot of negotiation advice focuses on what to do to get the best deal possible with a negotiation counterpart, it also is important for any negotiator to know when it is in their best interest to walk away from the negotiation table. Equally important, they should know how to walk away in a manner that preserves the ongoing relationship. Negotiate the Process While most negotiators pay plenty of attention to negotiating the terms of their negotiations, few think to negotiate the negotiation process. Meanwhile, negotiating the process can have tremendous impact on both the outcome of the negotiation as well as the ongoing relationship between the parties. Use External Standards to Establish the Terms One of the most common questions people ask in negotiation is, “How much should I ask/offer?” Everyone faces the same dilemma – charging too much/offering too little and losing the deal vs. or charging too little/offering too much and not getting the best deal. External standards can help point you in the right direction. Who Should Make the First Offer in a Negotiation You find yourself in a negotiation and wonder, “Is it to my advantage to make the first offer, or should I try to get my counterpart to make the first move?” Anchoring might affect the outcome. |
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